sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
