so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I could make wine with my vomit
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
