Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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