it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
