We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Randomize
