Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
