There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Randomize
