I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I puked a lego.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
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