You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
