i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
are you so shy because you have an std?
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Vodka?
Forever.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
