I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
