Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Randomize
