so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
