Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
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