dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
