That's when you crack a 10am beer
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
We were destined to go to rehab together
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
