from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
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