Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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