I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
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My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
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I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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