Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
