Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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