airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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