There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
My breasts were aching with rage.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Randomize
