CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
3pm strippers are depressing
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
