sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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