I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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