Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
