whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Randomize
