so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
This couple is walking their pig around campus
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
