For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
