My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
