I seem to have left my pride at pride
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
