He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
if i died would you start the facebook group?
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Randomize
