Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
It's like God shit irony all over that family
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Randomize