Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
