I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
