we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize