Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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