I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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