I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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