I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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