The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I have fence marks all over my body
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
