u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Randomize
