We're facebook friends in real life
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Randomize