His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
