Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Hello my rib-scented angel!
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
