Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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