i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
whose ass print is on the piano?
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
