first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Randomize
