Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
