I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
