You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
