Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
there was a trapeze. enough said
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Randomize
