once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
