you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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