Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Randomize
