tonight lets celebrate not being married
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
