forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
you had me at cake vodka
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
