but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?