I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!