Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.