Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
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