I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.