I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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