I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
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