I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
