yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
